From the Files of Profoundly Poor Marketing Judgments .....
"Ophelia's offers a carefully chosen wine list to satisfy even the most sophisticated palate as well as full liquor service [for when you need a little extra courage to take the plunge]. Ophelia's is also becoming known as a premier spot for romantic waterfront weddings [including unions with underworld deities] . We specialize in smaller intimate affairs that can be custom designed to your specifications [flowers, suicide note, old lauds—whatever you want to make your once-in-a-lifetime moment memorable!]"
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