Friday, January 14, 2011

Homebaked Shakespeare

willslist : Extreme Snow Edition

for sale

Toro snow blower no longer needed since the winter of our discontent is allegedly made glorious summer by blah blah, blah. Yeah, right. What are you looking at, asshole? I know where you live.


Hi! My sisters and I are available *all* day to watch your kids if you need help with this snow day! We LOVE kids!! Especially if they weren't baptized, or were ditch delivered by a whore! We can definitely scare up some references if you need them.

men seeking women

Do you have what it takes to end my Kingdom's eternal winter? Widowed King of Sicilia looking for attractive and compliant companion for immediate marriage and childbearing. Must be mute and enjoy being locked away from all human contact.

women seeking women

Former Queen and ski bunny seeks female companion for fun and outdoor adventures. Recently broke up with girlfriend because she was too possessive and wanted to keep me in her art collection. Send letter by secret messenger to: Statue Lady, Paulina's Chapel, Sicilia.

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