Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Ask the Experts

Lady Macbeth Reviews the New Season of Toddlers and Tiaras

As expected, disparaging remarks were a-twitter tonight after the first episode of this season's Toddlers and Tiaras, the TLC docu-drama about hard working mothers and their quest to groom pageant-winning offspring. At stake is the coveted crown of Little Miss Glitz, The Babes of Summer, Universal Miss and Mister International, and America's Trezured Dollz, among other prestigious pageants across the nation.

I say hard-working mothers, even though fathers also accompany their children to these pageants. Evident to viewers is the tireless dedication of women like Juana and that elegant older woman with the tattoos. They're the ones doing the spray-tanning, the eyebrow waxing, and the costume sewing. They're the brains and brawn behind their children's "Ultimate Grand Supreme" trophies. The husbands, they shuffle their feet, chomp gum, clap stupidly, and show no mettle whatsoever. No desire to seize the crown.

When my husband and I took our little MacBethanni to her first Miss Loch Ness Dreamz, I was working my ass off. My husband initially said that he'd do the same, but believe me that didn't happen.

Toddlers and Tiaras Wednesdays @ 10/9c on TLC
note to readers: The views expressed by Lady Macbeth do not necessarily reflect those of Everyday Shakespeare. Please embrace them at your own discretion.


  1. "All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this one little Pull-Up!"

  2. And I'm pretty sure that one of the main problems Hamlet had was that Gertrude never entered him to be Mister International anything. Duh. Some mothers never get a clue.