Magic Shake-Ball

Dear Magic Shake-Ball:

Is there a snowball's chance in hell that I'm getting home this week?
p.s. And will the guinea pig be alive when I get there?

Answer:

"there's millions now alive
That nightly lie in those improper beds
Which they dare swear peculiar: your case is
better." (Othello 4.1.68-70)

Interpretation:

Okay, so it sounds like I'm better off than a lot of other stranded folks, and I won't be spending the night in the airport. So that's good. But God help the guinea pig if she's one of those millions now alive in an improper bed.