Friday, August 27, 2010

Homebaked Shakespeare

Dear Duke and Duchess:

We hope that you and your family had a relaxing summer vacation, and that Richard learned some valuable coping skills at Camp Love Without Hurt. We're confident that he will have a productive First Grade year here at The York Academy for Boys, and that he will arrive ready to live up to our school motto: Governing Without Tears. With this goal in mind, we'd like to suggest that Richard not partake in Show and Tell for the first few months since some of his classmates are still experiencing post-traumatic stress symptoms from his previous contributions.

As you may know, Richard's former teacher, Hank Lancaster, has taken an extended leave of absence at an undisclosed location. Unfortunately, I received a message from Mr. Lancaster indicating that he was sent a package filled with life-like "hearts on daggers" that has set his recovery back at least one semester. We do not expect him to return any time soon. Richard has been assigned to Mr. Caliban, an experienced teacher with an extensive background in wrestling and anger management.

Enjoy the last few weeks of summer.


Dr. Earnest Steele

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