Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Ask the Experts

Craigslist is a hot topic, and not just in my pathetic little world. First the unsavory story of the Craigslist killer. And, this morning, an interesting bit on NPR about how consumers would prefer to buy from other consumers. I, personally, like to think of my Craigslist purchases as a f-you to The Man (who usually goes by the pseudonym "Pottery Barn").

Because I am a Craigslist scholar, I can tell you that some items sell faster than others. What's the secret? Well, let's look at some ads recently posted by Shakespeare characters with Craigslist expertise.

category: Antiques

Ball-Busting Sword for Sale! $99 or BO

I'm selling one bad-ass sword that has been used in many battles. Are you the right guy to wield it????

Contact Antony: 617-555-1212 for more details.

category: Women's Clothing

Unique handkerchief for sale. Need to get rid of ASAP.

Beautiful design!!!!! Previously owned by ungrateful wife. Would like this to go to a faithful home.

Contact Othello: 617-555-1212 for price.

category: Vehicles

Gently Used Boat and/or Kindling

Can you restore this beauty to her former glory? She's a tough vessel that could use some TLC. $1.1 million dollars. Or barter for your enslavement.

Contact Prospero at

category: Personal Services

Assistant Needed/Flexible hours

I am a prince living in a castle with a horrible stepfather who is also my uncle. I'm looking to have him murdered and would prefer not to do this myself. All proposed methods will be considered.

Please contact Hamlet at

category: Furniture

Lush Fairy Bower!!!!!

GORGEOUS grassy bower formerly occupied by FAIRY QUEEN. Moving in with husband so trying to get rid of bower this week. I will throw in four fairy helpers for free. Cash and carry only.

Call Titania (anytime--wink, wink) 1-800-ASS-LOVE

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