Suburbs of Our Discontent

Last night I went to see "New Moon." I haven't read the books or seen "Twilight," but I thought I should see what the young folk are so excited about. The obvious answer (based on the squeals coming from the row of teenage girls behind me) is: hunky young guys taking their shirts off and staring Kristen Stewart down with their sex-laden eyes.

But, dig a little deeper (which is hard to do with a film like this, trust me), and there's another answer: Shakespeare!

First of all, one of the previews promised a full-length film about teenagers falling in love in Verona with Taylor Swift's "Love Story" providing the soundtrack. Then the feature started, and there was Bella waking up with a copy of Romeo and Juliet right there in bed with her. Then there's this whole R and J plot about Bella looking like she's trying to kill herself, and then Edward thinking she's dead and trying to kill himself in Italy, and then Bella flying on Virgin America to try and save him. Get it? Virgin America. Because she's a virgin. Because he's a vampire and if he sleeps with her he'll have to kill her. When you think about it, it's like Shakespeare is a vampire, too. Thanks to movies like this, he never dies.

Although he may wish he were dead if he saw this.