I woke up this morning with a knot in my stomach. Today, FRESH YARN is publishing a piece I wrote about a very private matter concerning my husband and a certain Dr. Snipper. Anyway, I think I'm having flashbacks to when I did an NPR piece about walking solo down the aisle at my wedding that attracted a slew of hate emails about how I'm a father-hating, un-American Feminazi. If this were 1600, I'd probably be labeled a shrew. Shrews were typically women who scolded their husbands in public or blabbed about their man's secrets. For a punishment, they'd get tied to a cucking stool and dunked in water until they shut up. Seriously. They even sang songs about it. I'd bake one myself, but this one from c.1615 says it all:
Then fast within the chair
She was most finely bound,
Which made her scold excessively,
And said she should be drowned.
But every time that she
Was in the water dipped,
The drums and trumpets sounded brave,
For joy the people skipped.
I do live near a river, so I think I'll watch my back today.
Hi, Caroline - You're no shrew...I just read your essay over at Fresh Yarn and was impressed enough to check out this blog! Nicely done...
ReplyDeleteYou could have taken Marge Simpson's approach. In this classic exchange at a sporting goods store, she's trying to buy Bart an athletic supporter but the clerk thinks she wants to watch him urinate . . . My kids think it's hilarious. But then again, they're boys.
ReplyDeleteMarge: He's going to need, uh... you know, protection.
Cashier: Sure... one helmet coming up.
Marge: I was thinking more of... protection... down there (points down).
Cashier: Oh, why didn't you say so? Kneepads. You got it.
Marge: [very nervous laugh] I'm talking about his [mumbled] personal area.
Cashier: Ah ha. Say no more. I read you loud and clear. The old shoulder pads.
Marge: Look... I want a cup.
Cashier: Cup? Could you spell that.
Marge: C-U-P. I wanna C-U... oh my God!
I read your essay at Fresh Yarn and laughed my ass off. Reminds me of the time my wife sent me to the grocery store at around midnight to purchase feminine douche; our dog tangled with a skunk that night, and the vet recommended it.
ReplyDeleteIn the November issue of THE AMERICAN PROSPECT, there's a piece that showcases highlights from the college papers of various political leaders like Dick Cheney, Joe Bidden, Mitch McConnell -- and Sarah Palin. Here's what the PROSPECT uncovered:
ReplyDelete"Hamlet is a famous work by William Shakespeare that, like all of them, any of them, is very great." --Sarah Palin, Hawaii Pacific University.
"Hamlet is a famous work by William Shakespeare that, like all of them, any of them, is very great." --Sarah Palin, North Idaho College.
"Hamlet is a famous work by William Shakespeare that, like all of them, any of them, is very great." --Sarah Palin, University of Idaho.
"Like all of them, any of them, Hamlet is a famous work by William Shakespeare that is very great." --Sarah Palin, Matanuska-Susitna College.
"Macbeth is a famous work by William Shakespeare that, like any of them, all of them, is very great." --Sarah Palin, back at the University of Idaho.
Does she make your site irrelevant? Or does she prove its very point? I can't tell, and that makes me afraid...