Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Ask the Experts

Why I Love the Australian Open

By Macbeth

The Australian Open hath murdered sleep. But I mean this as a good thing!

A few months ago, the Weird Sisters told me that I would become "the winner Down Under," which I'd interpreted as "winner of the Australian Open." I therefore started to train as a professional tennis player, which was challenging as I'd never actually played tennis before.

Then it was time for me to fly to Melbourne, which I did using one of the Witches' brooms. In Melbourne, no one seemed to care about my special prophecy.

Though personally shunned, I developed Australian Open fever. And the prophecy was correct: turns out that I was destined to win a drinking game at a local pub--while "down under" the table in a puddle of local beer.

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