Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Ask the Experts

It's 12/12/12? Whatever.

By Hamlet, Prince of Denmark and Founder of Melancholics Anonymous

Full disclosure: I don't set my life at a a pin's fee, so all this talk about the world ending doesn't faze me a bit.

I've considered the possibility that the afterlife might be an undiscovered country that sucks more than Denmark (if that's even possible), but speculation can make you crazy. As in, not pretending to be crazy, but crazy crazy for real.

When the Everyday Shakespeare ladies (middle-aged women who are, by definition, untrustworthy) asked me to contribute my thoughts on 12-12-12, I felt tormented by the predicament. I decided to stage a play about two women who steal their husbands'  money and perform acts of cuckoldry on 12-12-12. The ladies did not react in any notable way.

Next, I staged another 12-12-12 play in which two women stop caring about their husbands and their sons and start partying excessively. Again, no reaction. Unlike some other people I know, these ladies don't crack.

My conclusion is that 12-12-12 is insignificant. It's just another day where I have my convictions and no one understands me. 

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