Ask the Experts

Are You Trying to Protect Her or Something????!!!! by King Leontes

It seems like everybody in the world has been fooled by the so-called "mom who got arrested for allegedly putting her 5-year-old in a tanning booth". The "mom" with her so-called "tan." Riiiiiiight. Do you actually believe this woman's face is an intentional aesthetic decision? To look like beef jerky with eyeballs? No, it's not. I think that "tan mom" is my loose and slippery wife. The one who almost convinced me she wasn't bedding my best buddy years ago. Now she's on the run with a lame disguise. But obviously it's working on you all, ignorant people of the world who are begging to be cuckolded. Not me. Not again. Scrape that crust from your ears, Hermione: CAN YOU HEAR ME?!!!!!