Friday, January 20, 2012

Homebaked Shakespeare

Career-Ending Interviews We Wish We Could Have Seen:

1) Midwife testifying to the fact that Macduff was actually delivered vaginally, which ruins his whole "not of woman born" shtick. And is just icky (if you're in a play about how scary and gross mother's bodies are).

2) Former soldier in Young Fortinbras' army, claiming that the "brave" Norwegian son cum King of Denmark regularly crapped his pants on the battlefield and paid everyone off to keep their mouths shut.

3) The real Tom O' Bedlam describing how Edgar (aka the great moral hope of Britain) stole his identity and ran up 5,000 pounds of charges on his credit card to a "Miss Quickly's Pussies and Kitchen Wenches."

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