Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Ask the Experts

Okay, we've decided to ask the experts how they would interpret Macbeth's speech. And by "experts," of course, we mean Freud, Dr. Phil, and Tyra Banks.

Here, once again, is the speech:

She should have died hereafter;
There would have been a time for such a word.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Freud: Macbeth is clearly a man who vants to be propelled toward psychic inertia. Ze death drive defines his desire to become "nothing." Notice ze repetition of "tomorrow"--zis is a classic example of moving beyond ze pleasure principle through repetition to achieve ze primitive state of mental extinction. He vants to put out his candle, vich is a fear and drive toward castration. He also vants to sleep vith his mother.

Dr. Phil: Now, we have a saying down in Texas: you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it float on its back. I remember when I was a little boy, just shy of a cattail, and I wanted to sleep with my mother. Hell, I did sleep with my mother. The point is, what I'm seeing here is a man who needs to take control of his circumstances. Macbeth needs to stop being a victim and say: "Hey. I'm a man who's made some bad decisions. I chose to kill the King and let my wife make me feel like I was less than the man I know that I can be." He's trapped in the blame game and he needs to decide to step away from the card table and start playing a new game: the game of Life.

Tyra: I know that game, girlfriend. When I was just 16, I went to Paris and was on my first big shoot for Vogue and I didn't know what I was doing. I was all huh, and hah, and look at my hoochie hooch self. Talk about "lighting fools to dusty death!" I didn't know fact One about finding my light or getting out of the shadows. I would definitely tell Macbeth to practice that strut he's talking about, 'cuz you needs to be FIERCE on the runway. He also needs to face his fears and connect with his inner pain if he wants to connect with the camera. Like he needs to face how his wife told him he'd never amount to anything, and then use that pain to be the best model he can be!

Freud: You are a remarkable voman. I vould very much like to invite you to my office and lay you on my couch and pry inside your complex mind and provocative jumpsuit.

Tyra: I don't think so. But would you like to be a guest judge on my show?

Freud: Vhatever you vant, magic lady.

1 comment:

  1. You are hilarious! I swear you got Tyra's voice down pat. I was laughing for a good five minutes on that one. I'm adding your blog site to my list of favorites on my own blog.

    Thanks for the fun read!