Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Magic Shake-Ball

Dear Shake-Ball:

I was talking to Michelle today on the phone when she got pulled over by a cop. Now I can't get in touch with her. What did she do? Is she in the clink? (p.s. You can talk on a cell phone and drive in Massachusetts.)


"It is not polite in the commonwealth of nature to preserve virginity."
(All's Well That Ends Well 1.1.120-121)


Okay, not to burst your bubble here, Shake-Ball, but Michelle has three kids. That ship sailed a long time ago. Unless you're talking about metaphorical virginity. Like--maybe she never watched a Real Housewives episode? I'd definitely arrest for that. But I'm pretty sure the Commonwealth of Massachusetts doesn't have a Pop Culture Police. Unless you count the Red Sox as Pop Culture. Which would just be depressing.

1 comment:

  1. Pop Culture Police Descend on Salem, Mass.

    Not only did she insist on watching "The Real Midwives of Essex County," Salem psychic Leanne Marrama would only wear spandex and a monochromatic black wardrobe, so her friends and family reported her for fashion crimes.

    Marrama, a member of the Salem midwife-witch community, was picked for a makeover on the allegedly popular TLC program, "What Not to Wear."

    The show's inquisitorial cast descended on Salem, where they filmed Marrama's look being "put on trial" — in a manner reminiscent of Salem's infamous 1692 witch trials — by a jury that included other members of the psychic healing community, who had foreseen the events.

    "I sobbed," Marrama recalled. "It was the most exhilarating yet terrifying moment because I was afraid of what people would think. I looked like a Congregationalist."