Dear Shake-Ball:
I was talking to Michelle today on the phone when she got pulled over by a cop. Now I can't get in touch with her. What did she do? Is she in the clink? (p.s. You can talk on a cell phone and drive in Massachusetts.)
Answer:
"It is not polite in the commonwealth of nature to preserve virginity."
(All's Well That Ends Well 1.1.120-121)
Interpretation:
Okay, not to burst your bubble here, Shake-Ball, but Michelle has three kids. That ship sailed a long time ago. Unless you're talking about metaphorical virginity. Like--maybe she never watched a Real Housewives episode? I'd definitely arrest for that. But I'm pretty sure the Commonwealth of Massachusetts doesn't have a Pop Culture Police. Unless you count the Red Sox as Pop Culture. Which would just be depressing.
Pop Culture Police Descend on Salem, Mass.
ReplyDeleteNot only did she insist on watching "The Real Midwives of Essex County," Salem psychic Leanne Marrama would only wear spandex and a monochromatic black wardrobe, so her friends and family reported her for fashion crimes.
Marrama, a member of the Salem midwife-witch community, was picked for a makeover on the allegedly popular TLC program, "What Not to Wear."
The show's inquisitorial cast descended on Salem, where they filmed Marrama's look being "put on trial" — in a manner reminiscent of Salem's infamous 1692 witch trials — by a jury that included other members of the psychic healing community, who had foreseen the events.
"I sobbed," Marrama recalled. "It was the most exhilarating yet terrifying moment because I was afraid of what people would think. I looked like a Congregationalist."