Friday, July 29, 2011

Homebaked Shakespeare

Dear President Obama:

I hath been watching your predicament with increasing annoyance these many moons and, in short, sir, thou art a disgrace to the name of monarch and a lily-livered panderer.

When I was King, if one of my "councillors" did something I didn't like, I chopped off his head. Who is this man Boehner? How dareth he waste your time when you could be stag-hunting on the Vineyard? Showeth him who is the sun and who the lowly worm. If you must, accuseth him of witchcraft: the people love a good dunking and burning.

Should you wish to consult with me further on this matter, I am open to communication. Send me word post-haste by messenger—preferably a busty lass with Daddy issues.

King Henry VIII

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