Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Ask the Experts

Lady Macbeth Declares Support for Bachmann

With her trademark straightforward style, Lady Macbeth has issued this public statement on her endorsement of Republican presidential candidate Rep. Michele Bachmann.

As the former Queen of Scotland, I am well aware of male bias against powerful women. I applaud Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann for outshining her competitors in the first Republican debate last week, and for doing this without compromising her femininity.

I once believed that women needed to "unsex" themselves if they were serious about a political career. How wrong I was! A jewel-toned lipstick and pretty smile can go a long way towards being taken seriously. My tactics were unfair and ineffective: Looking back on how I challenged my husband's manhood, I am deeply ashamed.

Representative Bachmann has never made such mistakes. She understands that women are meant to be women, and men to be men. Men are supposed to marry women, and if they don't, they might be anti-American.

Either way, global warming is most definitely a hoax.

Finally, Michele Bachmann has deep respect for a woman's role as a breeder and caretaker of children. Once again, this is a humbling touchstone for me as I reflect on my past mistakes. I now know that abortion is very wrong, as is dashing a baby's brains out.

Woman and Men of America, I command you to screw your courage to the sticking place and vote for this brave woman!

The views expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect those of Everyday Shakespeare.

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