Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Magic Shake-Ball



So many burning questions this week--and it's only Tuesday!

Question for Magic Shake-Ball:

Is Schwarzenegger's bastard kid OK or totally bummed out? I'm really concerned.

Magic Shake-Ball's Response:

"O infinite virtue, comest thou smiling from
The world's great snare uncaught?"
--Antony and Cleopatra, 4.8.20-1

Interpretation:

Er . . .That doesn't make any sense because Ah-nold was indeed caught by the world's greatest snare. Let's try that again.

Magic Shake-Ball's Response:

"Marry, I saw your niece do more favours to the
count's serving-man than ever she bestowed upon me;
I saw't i' the orchard."
--Twelfth Night (3.2.5-7)

Interpretation:

Uncanny! This passage is about an upstairs/downstairs dalliance just like Ah-nold's! Only here's the thing: In Twelfth Night that "serving man" (Viola) is really a woman, and really another member of the upper class. Also, the niece (Olivia) is single, childless, and not married to Maria Shriver. She obviously cannot get Viola pregnant, so even if there was some Black Swan action between the two women, there would be no pregnancy. I think that the Magic Shake-Ball is trying to say that Ah-nold, by contrast, is quite screwed.

And obviously the Shake-Ball has no idea how his love child is doing. Pity.

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