Sonnet: To the Lady with the Lexus in the Mall Parking Lot
A woman’s face with Nature’s own hand painted
Hast thou. (If Nature worked at Bloomingdales).
Ne’er with body fat are you tainted;
Always thou sport raven-hued fingernails.
Why did’st thou park thy car so close to mine?
Whereupon “compact vehicles only” are?
This parking lot is no longer sublime;
Any movement slight, and your SUV I will mar.
I rage, I rage, and shoot daggers at you
Snarling “remove your Lexus from my car.”
Mouth a-smirk, you say “that’s not a Lexus.” Ew.
Bags into trunk, your thoughts from me are far.
I don’t give a crap it’s not a Lexus.
That’s not the goddamn point of writing this.
Friday, April 16, 2010
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In her (possible?) defense...
ReplyDeleteTo the frumpy frau whose pasty pout
Did accost me in the lot, section A
And whose fork-tongued barbs labored so to rout
My otherwise joyous, indulgent day:
I tell you now – this, from me and not the pinot –
The point of your assault I well perceived;
Your hair, your shoes, the bag from Chico’s,
Obama/Biden -- your life has left you peeved.
How else would one mistake a Lexus,
(A mere Toyota with added gilt)
For a mighty Mercedes, luxury’s nexus,
Or the privilege upon which it’s built?
So if searching for targets to scorn and despise
And it seems that you could be, I fear,
Perhaps to thy self you might cast an eye
For objects, they are closer than they appear.
And I know – I ended not on a couplet,
But you started it, so fuck it.