Valentine's Cards from the Archives
Hamlet to Ophelia
To be or not to be my Valentine?
That's the question, isn't it?
I'm talking to you, you slippery wench!
You know what? Forget it.
Henry VIII to Catherine Howard
Divorced, beheaded, died
(Fifth time's the charm, baby!)
Titania to Bottom
Happy Valentine's Day to my favorite piece of ass!
Romeo to the Flavor of the Week
Did I ever loveth before now?
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
You are the brightest star in the firmament,
the jewel in my — SQUIRREL!