Friday, February 14, 2014

Homebaked Shakespeare

Valentine's Cards from the Archives

Hamlet to Ophelia

To be or not to be my Valentine?

That's the question, isn't it?
Isn't it?
I'm talking to you, you slippery wench!

You know what? Forget it.

Henry VIII to Catherine Howard

Divorced, beheaded, died
Divorced, beloved!

(Fifth time's the charm, baby!)

Ophelia to Hamlet

Sorry this Valentine is so late....

So am I.


Titania to Bottom

Happy Valentine's Day to my favorite piece of ass!

Romeo to the Flavor of the Week

Dear Phoebe Mistress Quickly Rosaline    JULIET:

Did I ever loveth before now?
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
You are the brightest star in the firmament,
the jewel in my — SQUIRREL!

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