Homebaked Shakespeare

Signor Prospero
Island Somewhere Near Bermuda
New World


Dear Signor Prospero:

We have finished our initial review process for the position of Pope and regret to inform you that you will not be advancing to our next round. While we found your public relations experience impressive (if a bit too reliant on "magic"--a touchy word for us), we have decided to go in another direction. As you know, the face of Catholicism is changing to include more and more persons of non-European origin. The fact that you are an old, white Italian male makes you a less attractive candidate at this time.

We are, however, interested in interviewing your slave Caliban. We understand that he is quite adept at picking up languages, and we feel that his  profile might speak to our growing faithful in developing countries. We would appreciate your releasing him for a fortnight as we evaluate his candidacy.

Yours,
The Council for the Appointment of the Next Pope