Ask the Experts

To Whom It May Concern:

I am applying for the job of Pope that recently has become available. My previous experience as ruler of an island qualifies me well for this post. During my tenure as Lord of All I Surveyed, I had to deal with numerous unpleasant incidents including accusations of usurpation by a witch and civil uprisings by disgruntled employees. Through the use of my magic staff, I was able to squelch all of these potentially disruptive Public Relations challenges, and my reputation through all of these tumultuous events remained spotless.

Did I mention my magic staff? I do have my own, as well as a handsome robe, so you would not need to waste your funds on my Papal costume.

Should you wish to contact me for an interview, I can be reached by return bottle message.

Yours,
Prospero