Homebaked Shakespeare

In honor of the discovery of Richard III's remains underneath a carpark, I hereby declare Friday, September 21st "Richard III Cocktail Party Day."

Here's my personalized contribution. I call it the Bloody Richie:

3 ozs. tomato juice
two withered fingers Malmsey

Shake ingredients with ice really hard until it hurts. Pour into a false glass. Garnish with a lemon twist.

I'm sure it tastes hideous, but I think he would have liked it like that.