Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Ask the Experts

Get Thee to a Nunnery (and off the court)!
by Hamlet, Prince of Denmark

I, for one, am not at all surprised, no, not for one moment, nay, not for one half of a moment, that the four badminton doubles teams selected for disqualification for throwing their games at the Olympics this week were all of the female sex. Did I or did I not tell you that "Frailty thy name is woman"? They are rotting the sport and all of the Olympics with their feminine deceptions. What do you expect to happen when you take such creatures and double them? Not to mention letting them sweat and spew their sullied flesh in public? I must confess, my gorge doth heave at the very thought of it. Look at that woman on the left! She is making herself heave!

I pray that the commendable men of the Badminton World Federation, and the International Olympics Committee will join forces and purge the games of all such pernicious creatures. And that they next will turn their eye to sneaky Norway which I happen to know is a nest of liars as well.

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