Magic Shake-Ball

Dear Magic Shake-Ball:

It's been a week since I asked you this, and I've been thinking about your answer, and I think the problem was in the way I asked it the first time. So, here goes: If I can't have it all, should I blame the feminists for setting me up, or The Atlantic for letting me down?

p.s. I just saw Michelle's Facebook photos from Venice, and I'm pretty sure she is having it all right now, so should I just blame her?

Answer:


"Heavy matters, heavy matters! But look here, boy. Now bless thyself. Thou met'st with things dying, I with things newborn." (Winter's Tale 3.3.97-98)

Interpretation:


Well, this is definitely some heavy stuff. And this is a heavy-duty transitional moment where The Clown has just watched Antigonus getting ripped apart by a bear, while the Shepherd has just found the babe Antigonus just abandoned, Perdita: death and birth, all in one moment. Is this your way of telling me to not give up on finding balance? Or--wait a minute--is that Perdita in the briefcase? Am I Antigonus? Am I going to be pursued by a bear? Is the bear the specter of anti-feminism telling me to blame feminism for making me unhappy? Should I still go to work in the morning? If I do, will an actual bear come out of the Vermont woods and devour my children up at their daycare/camp?

You know what? Thanks for nothing, Shake-Ball.