Ask the Experts

Cleopatra Reviews "Mad Men," Season 5, Episode 11: "The Other Woman"

There's nothing I look forward to more than my Sunday nights lying in front of my 80" flat screen watching "Mad Men" while my eunuchs fan and feed me. Not that I can relate to any of the women on the show. Megan looked promising for the first few episodes of the season, especially when she sang that racy French song and lap-danced her husband in front of their guests,  but that pile of crap she said last week about choosing Don over her acting career was a pathetic pile of camel dung. I don't care how damn good-looking he is—and, trust me, he's nothing compared to the masters of the universe I've been with—you never give up your career, girlfriend.

But let's get to the meat of Sunday's episode, shall we? Everyone's been buzzing about how Joan traded sex with a dumpy Jaguar executive for a 5% stake in Sterling, Cooper, Draper, Pryce. This was apparently upsetting to many critics. Well, I was upset too. 5%?? Honey, those guns of yours easily could  have gotten you 20% and a car. How do you think I sunk my claws into a third of the Roman Empire? Not with my steno skills, that's for damn sure.