Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Ask the Experts

"The Patient Must Minister to Himself"
or, why Americans should reject ObamaCare and stop being pussies.

By Lady Macbeth

Look. Enough is enough. You Americans make me sick. I mean that figuratively, since I NEVER GET SICK. Why? Because I don't give in to illness. And if I did, I'd take a knife, slice open a vein and suck it out. And I'd like it. Hell, sometimes I do it for foreplay.

But not you people. No, you have to have your preventive care, and your well-baby visits (don't make me laugh!), and your heart transplants. You want a heart transplant? Come on over to my house--I'll carve it right out of your chest free of charge and plant it in my special garden.

If you want to pay someone to fix your weak, sub-standard body, then that's your business. But don't make everyone else buy into it to help you pay for it. We have a name for people like you where I come from: witches' brew. Because that's where the weaklings end up.

Suck it up, people.

Lady Macbeth is an independent commentator. Her views do not express those of everydayshakespeare.

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