Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Ask the Experts

Should Employers Be Required To Cover Contraception for Their Employees?:
A Roundtable Discussion

King Lear: As a father of three daughters, all of whom are ungrateful, emasculating wenches, I wholeheartedly support President Obama's plan to require employers to pay for contraception regardless of their moral or religious beliefs. Some women, in fact most women, should not bear children at all. Ever. And, p.s., what did the gods ever do for me anyway?

Lady Macbeth: Right on, Lear. I've had it with this whole mandate on childbearing. Do you have any idea how tedious it is to give suck indefinitely? That's the only kind of birth control I can get up North ever since the Weird Sisters took their act to Denmark. They got squeezed out by the last King.

Caliban: Hey! You two might not even be here if your mothers had been able to get contraception.

Lady M: Honey, trust me, your mother would have wanted it.

Friar Laurence: I don't see what all the ker-fuffle is about. My employer won't pay for birth control, but that doesn't change anything for me. I'm never going to get pregnant.

Cardinal Wolsey: Wisely put, brother.

Henry VIII: Let copulation thrive!

Lear: Hey--don't take my words of context. I was being ironic.

1 comment: