Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Ask the Experts


Zounds! Or, What To Do When Your Companion Is Felled By A Nasty Bit O'Plague


By FALSTAFF

Caroline is sick with a nasty bit of plague-y flu. Have you also an ill companion or dearest friend felled by such cruel jowls of fate this holiday season? You need look no further than sweet old Falstaff for get-well-soon-get-over-it-now-already kinds of gifts!

Your Wallet

Yup, just give them your wallet. Everyone loves a wallet, especially if its stuffed with gold coins.

Edible Arrangements (including gift teddy bear)

Don't pretend you don't love this crap. 'Cause you'd be a filthy liar.

Carton of Orange Juice Filled With Ale

Surprise! Just in case someone's keeping your buddy clean and sober with the fool belief that this is actually good for them.

Whatever you choose, just remember to ring the doorbell and run! You don't want to catch any of the deadly stuff from your sniveling mucus-monger.

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