Ask the Experts

What I'm Wearing Now!


by SIR JOHN FALSTAFF




Let me start out by saying that I have more flesh than another man, and therefore more frailty. In other words, when the first nip of September hits the air I am bloody freezing my fat arse off.

So, there I was, prepping myself for yet another cold spell with yet another bottle of sack in the belly, when I got my hands on one of these Forever Lazy little numbers.*

Reader, do you judge me? Dost thou go so far as to thinkest, "Hey, this guy's a big fat loser"? Why, Laziness 'tis my vocation! 'Tis no sin for a man to labour in his vocation, right?

*By "got my hands on," I mean of course that I secured this Great Fleece while fighting an army of men.**

**Who were also certifiable giants and armed with too much weaponry to describe here.