Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Ask the Experts

How to Survive a Double-Dip Recession, by Juliet Capulet

Okay, so I was meeting my boyfriend Romeo the other night at this totally cute new Gelateria in Piazza delle Erbe, and he was all like "Could you maybe just get one scoop?" and I was all, "Are you kidding me?" and he was all, "No. I'm serious, Juliet. Haven't you heard we're in a depression?" And I was all like, "I'm not you shrink, I'm your girlfriend, and I want a scoop of hazelnut and coconut." And then he was all, "It's a double-dip recession." And I was like, "Double-dip this, loser," and so I totally took my two scoops and dumped them in his lap.

Then I texted Paris and told him I'd go go out with him, because even though he's kind of creepy and possessive, he is like so rich. And he lets me order whatever I want.

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