Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Magic Shake-Ball



Dear Magic Shake-Ball:

I think James Franco is trying to steal my identity:

1) I used to watch GH; now he's on GH.
2) I was in an ABC Afterschool Special--now he shows up hosting the Oscars on ABC.
3) I got a PhD in English Literature--now he's getting one.

What should I do?

Answer:

Macbeth: ... Yet my heart
Throbs to know one thing: tell me, if your art
Can tell so much, shall Banquo's issue ever
Reign in this kingdom?

Witches: Seek to know no more.

Interpretation:

Oh my God, it's worse than I thought. Franco is my Banquo. He just can't wait to steal my place. Damn you, Franco. If you so much as write an annotated bibliography on Shakespeare and midwifery, it's war.

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