Inspired by the upcoming teen rewrite of Shrew, I decided to cash in on this whole teen Shakespeare trend with MacDeath Threat: The Selena Gomez Story. Check out the trailer:
[Selena and Justin Bieber enter stage right, holding hands. He leans her against her locker, and they start to make out. Enter Ladia]
Ladia: Oh my God! Why don't you two just get a room already?!
Selena: Oh. Hi, Ladia.
Ladia: "Hi, Ladia." Right. Did you just like totally forget that we were supposed to go to the mall together after school? Or did you just think I'd "understand" because you're so "in love"?
Justin: C'mon, Selena, let's blow out of here. [He pushes the hair off of his forehead. They leave.]
Ladia:[Shouting after them] That's right! Blow it out your million dollar ass!
Come, you spirits that prey on stuff,
Sexy me up and make Justin leave that skank whore for me.
Come to my flat chest and make me super HOT.
Or else make Selena go into rehab all summer.
[Three Goth Girls appear from three lockers]
Goth Girl 1: Whazzup, girlfriend?
Goth Girl 2: Hail, Belieber.
Goth Girl 3: Hail, Ladia, that shall be both.
[They disappear in a cloud of glitter spray]
Ladia: OMG, I am so going to be Justin's girlfriend. But when? Wait a minute, if I just cut the brakes on Selena's Jaguar then I can go to the prom with him this weekend!
[Ladia takes nail file out of her purse and heads out.]
Justin:
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