This is a shout-out to all you parents limping to the end of February Vacation Week. Congrats! You made it. (And if you didn't, please send us the name and address of your asylum, and we'll send you flowers).
Three Shakespeare Cocktails Homebrewed Especially for Vacation Week
Hamlet's Pensive Punch
2 (46 fluid ounce) bottles cranberry-raspberry juice
1 (32 fluid ounce) bottle pina colada mix
2 liters raspberry soda
In a large plastic container, combine cranberry-raspberry juice with the pina colada mix. Slowly add 1/4 cup of human tears.
Remove from freezer 30 minutes prior to serving.
Hermione's Martyr Martini
60ml (or approx 2 oz) Cheap Gin
30ml (or approx 1 oz) Mouthwash
6 ice blocks/cubes
Into a cocktail shaker, pour the Gin and Mouthwash.
Strain and pour into a paper cup (you're fine without a martini glass, right?)
Finish by tossing a twist of lemon into the paper cup.
Lady Macbeth's Angry Face
1/2 oz Jagermeister
1 oz pineapple juice
1 oz orange juice
1/2 oz apricot brandy
1 tsp sugar
2 oz light rum
1 oz dark rum
1 oz some more rum
Blend all ingredients with ice except the Jagermeister.