Friday, February 25, 2011

Homebaked Shakespeare

Celebrate the End of February School Vacation Week!

This is a shout-out to all you parents limping to the end of February Vacation Week. Congrats! You made it. (And if you didn't, please send us the name and address of your asylum, and we'll send you flowers).

Everyday Shakespeare thinks that this Friday night should be a time to toast you, Mommy and Daddy. Or you, babysitter (if you're over 21). So it's our pleasure to present . . . .

Three Shakespeare Cocktails Homebrewed Especially for Vacation Week

Hamlet's Pensive Punch

2 (46 fluid ounce) bottles cranberry-raspberry juice
1 (32 fluid ounce) bottle pina colada mix
2 liters raspberry soda
1/2 cup of human tears

In a large plastic container, combine cranberry-raspberry juice with the pina colada mix. Slowly add 1/4 cup of human tears.
Freeze overnight.
Remove from freezer 30 minutes prior to serving.
To serve, place frozen slush in punch bowl and slowly add raspberry ginger ale and remaining 1/4 cup of human tears.
To create a garnish, sob over punch bowl just before serving.

Hermione's Martyr Martini

60ml (or approx 2 oz) Cheap Gin
30ml (or approx 1 oz) Mouthwash

twist of lemon
6 ice blocks/cubes

Into a cocktail shaker, pour the Gin and Mouthwash.
Add ice.
Shake well.
Strain and pour into a paper cup (you're fine without a martini glass, right?)
Finish by tossing a twist of lemon into the paper cup.

Lady Macbeth's Angry Face

1/2 oz Jagermeister
1/2 oz Hot Damn Liquor
1 oz pineapple juice
1 oz orange juice
1/2 oz apricot brandy
1 tsp sugar
2 oz light rum
1 oz dark rum
1 oz some more rum

Blend all ingredients with ice except the Jagermeister.
Pour into a collins glass.
Dump Jagermeister on top.
Garnish with cherries, each stabbed with multiple toothpicks.

1 comment:

  1. These are all so excellent that it's hard to decide what to try -- though I will say that that is a copious amount of punch with a paltry amount alcohol for Hamlet, so it won't be my first choice.

    PS In my house three children (only two of them my spawn) are running wild, jumping on the trampoline, screaming, slamming doors, playing tag, shouting, and generally making mayhem with no adult doing a thing to stop or even slow them. The name of my asylum is Winter Break in Michigan. Please send vodka in lieu of flowers.