York University, Branch Campus
Assistant Professor, tenure-track position in Medieval/early modern literature, with secondary specialty in astrology or Machiavellian political philosophy. Must be willing to use scholarship to serve interests of employer. Conflicts of interest will result in immediate termination. Of your life. University of York is not an Equal Opportunity Employer. Lancastrians need not apply. Email cover letter to: Richard@yorksrule.gov
University of the Bermudas
I am seeking a generalist with NO research interests. Must be willing to take on heavy loads of all kinds. Position comes with life-time tenure and permanent housing. Send CV, dossier and pictures of torso and biceps in a bottle to PROSPERO.
King Lear Institute, Central Britain
We are seeking a unique candidate to take on all administrative and caretaking responsibilities of this old and esteemed institution. In cover letter, all assurances must be made that this is the ONLY job for which you are applying. Women are especially encouraged to apply. Send letter of assurances to: The Only Man I'll Ever Love; The Big Castle; Britain.
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