Friday, December 17, 2010

Homebaked Shakespeare

Top 10 Reasons why Shakespeare should be Time's Person of the Year instead of that Facebook Guy:

10. He actually has his face on a book.

9. He basically invented Social Networking—except back then it was called going to the public theater and hooking up with Mistress Pock-Face or a nice beardless young man.

8. And after you did, no one hacked into your personal information and sent you messages like: "24 year olds living in London want to talk to you about ass heads and bondage."

7. He didn't have to get a fancy Ivy League degree to hit it big.

6. There are way more movies made about him than there are about Mark Zuckerberg.

5. By the time he was 21 he'd already maybe started thinking about writing some comedies. (Okay, we'll give that one to Zuckerberg)

4. Sure, Facebook helps you stay in touch with lots of random "friends," but Shakespeare helps you stay in touch with people you might actually want to know, like Richard III and Joan of Arc.

3. Has Facebook inspired any Disney movies? I don't think so. (Lion King=Hamlet)

2. Which quote about the world do you think people will remember in 100 years?
Zuckerberg: "By giving people the power to share, we're making the world more transparent" (snore)

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing." (genius)


1. He was the first guy to get the word "dildo" into print. Top that, Zuckerberg.


  1. 11: Nobody's ever turned something Zuckerberg wrote into a song (see: Kula Shaker, "Ophelia").

    (Also you should tell Hamlet about it, maybe he could learn to sing or something. Might even cheer Ophelia up a little.)

  2. 12. Zuckerberg was played by Jesse Eisenberg. Shakespeare was played by Ralph Fiennes. Ralph is cool, Jesse's a nerd.