by King Richard III
So many of my middle-aged lady friends worry about osteoporosis! In as much as they adore my company, I'm certain that my hunchback can be a trigger for these anxieties. These are ladies who do a great job looking fit and fabulous! No wonder they are so worried.
I know what you're thinking. No way does that bastard Richard III have friends--let alone lady friends! As a matter of fact, I do. And as a matter of fact, I have devoted my afterlife to helping people make the right choices as they go down this rocky road we call life.
To that end, I want to tell the world about these new Adora calcium supplements that taste just like candy! I urge those of you who do not have a pre-existing hunchback condition to sample these delectable chocolate disks.
To those of you who still have doubts about me, I say: You are unforgiving a-holes and don't deserve these calcium supplements. I hope you stick to your damn horsepill vitamins and rot in hell.
You had me at "rocky road," you feisty, charismatic hunchback!
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