Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Ask the Experts

Just in case we all needed to feel a little more stressed out about how we messed our kids up in utero, Time magazine is featuring "How the First Nine Months Shape the Rest of Your Life" on its cover this week.

This is news? Anne Murphy Paul, the Time writer, claims that this time it is different: it's not about filling women with dread and dire warnings when they're pregnant, it's about the excitement of knowing you can shape the future in a positive way. Oh. Okay. So I shouldn't blame being pregnant in Ohio on my daughter's love of fried cheese products? Yeah. That's what I thought. Same old, same old.

Anyway, this lady on the cover certainly looks like she passed on the fried food, so yay for her. Her daughter will probably grow up and throw some relational aggression my daughters' way, and then my daughter will sit on her and crush her. See? I'm shaping the future!

I was going to ask the experts about this (I'm sure Richard III's mother would dump on this story, and Hermione would take all the credit for how well Perdita turned out even though she didn't raise her), but I don't think I need to.

Can somebody pass me the mozzarella sticks?

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