Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Ask the Experts

Dear Tipper,

I know you’re getting a lot of shit about the break-up, so I wanted to let you know that someone out there knows exactly what you're going through.

People are speculating that you left Al for another man. Or that your bout with depression left you all crazy in the head. Some really daft “analyses” actually wonder if Al took the initiative.

As if.

I understand your situation. I, too, have been inaccurately and unfairly labeled because of a mild case of mental impairment. I, too, have made the mistake of marrying a “powerful” man who turned out to be a big wuss.

After Al failed to win the presidency, despite having a gorgeous and brilliant wife and every other advantage in the world, I thought of reaching out to you. I deeply regret that it’s taken me this long to offer my sincerest sympathies.

Yours has been a heavy burden to bear, Tipper. Only now do I appreciate that my situation could have been much worse. What if my husband had been a tree-hugger? What if he had grown a beard that made him look like he lived in the woods with the wretched little animals he was always trying to protect?

May the Lord give you strength. Please know that you are in my prayers.

Yours in Sisterhood,

Lady Macbeth

No comments:

Post a Comment