Homebaked Shakespeare

SONNET: To the Guy Who “Shared” My Table at Starbucks Yesterday

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Sure. Even though it’s winter and snowing
You feel suffocating hot anyway.
Look, a free table! But you ain’t going . . .

No--you, laptop, and iphone squish with me.
You grab the phone and yell at your (ex?) wife.
People stare as far as the eye can see;
I send a silent message: “Get a life.”

Coffee and breakfast sandwich everywhere.
There is no place for my latte now,
But Mr. Freaking Loud so does not care;
Next he dials some guy and screams at him--wow.

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
I will bark “no!” if you ‘gain sit with me.