Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Ask the Experts

Question: "I have three kids and just turned 40. I'm having trouble keeping the weight off. Any suggestions?"
--Joanie, Brookline, MA

In order to answer Joanie's question, we've brought together Shakespeare's moms for a roundtable discussion on staying fit post-kids.

Hermione: I was always so busy running around after my son and breastfeeding that I never had that problem. I actually had trouble gaining weight.

Lady Macbeth: Was that before or after you were holed up pretending to be a statue for 16 years. 'Cuz I'm pretty sure I see some love handles on you now.

Hermione: Excuse me. How many children do you have?

Lady Macbeth: Oh, we're going to play the counting kids game, are we? Last I checked, that wasn't going so well for you.

Gertrude: I agree-- breastfeeding just makes the pounds melt away! I breastfed my son Hamlet until he was 16. Of course, he was fat, but I was as lithe as a willow branch. I just don't understand why a woman would hire someone else to do it for her. Where are you going, Cappy?

Lady Capulet: I need some air.


  1. sorry to pick nits, but Hermione did not breastfeed Mamillius. It sounds like she did, but Leontes specifically says he's glad she didn't so she couldn't pass on her wanton ways.

  2. Very true, Anonymous. She did nurse Perdita, though. Thanks for keeping us on our toes!

  3. Never mind all that; Gertrude's comments reminded me irresistibly of this...imagine Claudius' reaction!