Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Magic Shake-Ball

I've finally reached the point where I think it would be easier to burn my house down than to clean it. My son went under our bed last night to get a lost book and he came out looking like a large chinchilla. We stopped paying to have someone clean the house two years ago to save money. But now I'm going to have to use the money we saved not hiring someone so that I can hire a lawyer to get me out of jail after I burn my house down. My husband would call this the Kobayashi Maru scenario. There is no solution. He thinks Star Trek holds the key to pretty much all of our everyday problems. But Gene Roddenberry stole everything from Shakespeare, so why not go right to the source?

QUESTION: Should I burn my house down, or try to clean it?

ANSWER: The violent carriage of it
Will clear or end the business.
--The Winter's Tale 3.1.17-18

Wow. I can't believe it. This is SO Kabayashi Maru. It's Dion talking about the Oracle he and Cleomenes were sent to consult to find out if Queen Hermione is or isn't a conspiring whore. Oracles NEVER give you a solution, they just give you puzzles. If I burn down my house that's definitely the violent way to go, and it will "clear or end the business" for sure. But will I end up in jail for doing it?

QUESTION: Will I go to jail if I burn down my house instead of cleaning it?

ANSWER: "Fortune is painted blind, with a muffler afore his eyes, to signify to you that Fortune is blind."
--Henry V (3.6.3-32)

Okay, okay. I get the point. You're not going to give me the answer to this one. I need to search my own conscience. Screw you, Magic Shake-ball.


  1. Burn it! Burn it to the ground! Just like in STAR TREK III: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK, Kirk created a workable option out of certain disaster when he set the Enterprise on self-destruct rather than face occupation by the Klingons, then beamed down to the planet newly born of the Genesis project, lured them into a death trap, then took their Bird of Prey back to a new home. Or, you could just buy a vacuum.

  2. I like the way you think. "House...out of....danger....."